hit and sunk.
The silence in the room is disarming. Julia came out to do some shopping in
view of my evening. Remarkable as though they are past three months, I continue to be housed in
discos and clubs. What's even more surprising is that
I do not mind, I like to spend time among people who
I applaud and appreciate me for who I am.
Yet there are times, especially when I get behind the scenes and
Giulia is where the latest signing autographs, I feel empty. The applause
vanish at the same speed with which they were born, my gaze turns away and relive the evening
as if I were a robot. I still ask my adventure, I always say the same things,
using hackneyed phrases, which all have come to expect, but still want to hear.
As if they could put to shame if I forget a few words banal and obvious. My
alleged affair with Carmen, my disillusionment with Maureen, his friendship with Alberto ...
All the things you know, heard, or heard from for myself.
But then the words come out as it should be: Carmen is just a friend, a sweet and affectionate
who may have misinterpreted my attitudes. Mauro I was disappointed for his sentence apparently
tender and touching, which concealed a desire to kill me as soon as possible. Alberto is a special friend, not to be missed.
I could sign up, send a puppet in my image and likeness, and let the audio talk and everyone would applaud anyway.
I feel as though I had already exchanged with the puppet, devoid of everything.
Where are finished. I get up and puffy, with a slow, automatic and I head to the entrance.
Someone rang. It is probably John, ennessima who has forgotten to turn the car keys.
It will never change that blessed boy, and I get a smile on his face, thinking that he, among all those I know,
has never changed. Always clear, sincere, genuine and acute.
The person that I want to be, in a nutshell.
I approached the door, mahogany, with opaque glass that keeps me from seeing the face of my companion's house.
And he believes that it is, I open safe saying
"If you stick to your fingers maybe not going back all the time."
"What should I stick to your fingers?"
says a voice that is not of John.
I look down a few inches and I am ice in front of a pair of eyes staring at me amused.
No, not John.
Maicol Berti is in front of me, smiling, with her hair tied and curved slightly forward. A polo green, tight jeans, belt a lighter shade of the shirt
brand new boots. E 'changed but what has not changed is his eyes.
Those eyes that seem frozen soul, here. And to do it on purpose, it is characteristic of him.
Among the thousands of reconciliation, I was always the first to capitulate. And I had only to look into his eyes and immediately raised my white flag. Help, I lost again, I told myself.
But today, his gaze has something new, but I can not record.
"Mr. Ronchini, plans to leave me out here much longer?" He tells me to do with pissed off, beating up one foot on the mat at the entrance. I open the door a bit 'more and immediately enters the house
placing the bag on a chair at the entrance, right next to the phone. Walk confident and looks around.
has a smile that just revolves around the head and it seems to be to bring to dance.
I also smile, but do not know why, I have a bad feeling. As if I expected one of his laughter that have bothered me so much during the days in prison.
"Everything okay?" I ask, locking the door behind him and moving toward him. He has a necklace F with a wooden, the kind you can buy on the stalls by the sea. He
note where it is laid eyes on me and immediately puts her hands over us, assuming an expression of affectionate and gentle.
E 'have not seen him so much. There we see in the TV room, exchange a few jokes, the same answer both questions, a script written to perfection.
But seeing him so innocent, so carefree, it makes me stop the heart.
know it is not because they are in front of him, not because he is happy to see me. He is now a star, a constant presence, you are arguing, he grew up. And I'm still
to months and months ago, still dazed by Signorini and Alessandro.
"I Giuly and Jupiter in the house? "I asked, naming them forward. He almost talked more with them than with me these days. Julia asks of him and behind the scenes are big laughs
mock John, totally unrelated to television interviews and .
"No, I'm leaving." I say, raising an eyebrow, frowning slightly.
E 'come for them, not for me. But I quickly denied taking my hand and leads me into the living room just to the left of the entrance.
I am sit on the white sofa and smiles. Then he takes off his boots and sits beside me, crossing his legs.
There's something strange about him, has a different light around him. It reminds me of a cliche, not now
remember ... "I must tell you something ... "He says nervously, torturing the red and fleshy lips, which have always fascinated me. They look like painted, not real.
And do not say this for some reason, but objectively they are special, I bet that women would pay for surgeons a mouth like his.
I nodded, inviting him to continue. He inhales deeply, smiling slightly, looking excited.
not really know what to expect.
almost trembling more than him, I do not feel relaxed, in fact. I want to say that I do not care, rather than knowing. But it seems so happy that I remain silent and wait.
"Fred has come home."
rolled his eyes and looked at him without saying a word. My face does not betray any emotion.
For anyone who might be a phrase as another, but I know what you mean.
is what was commonplace.
A woman, after the first time, it shines a new light. As a girl she grew up, became a woman. That's why it's so beautiful, her smile is radiant.
And I also understand what the F, so precious to him.
I do not know what to say but one thing is certain, I feel anger. Absolute and pure rage.
"Well, then?"
I asked, embarrassed but still joyful. I would rip that smile and run away from my house.
I jumped up and nervously go to the window, looking out. I pray that Julie return to God and that Maicol you take away what I just said.
"Jo?" I demand a bit 'scared. Can see my reflection, angry and bewildered. He does not understand, do not get it.
I turned to him quickly, and the lightning, and just really think that incinerates any moment.
"Why are you happy?" He says, as my expression does not change. It 'an expression that he knows, has seen hundreds of times, every time we argued.
But this time he does not want to fight. She wants me to congratulate me and ask him how it went. If you have prepared the roses on the bed or if it was pretty sweet.
not ask him anything, I died at this moment.
He shrugs his shoulders, biting the lower lip. The term radiant is gone and I'm pleased.
"Why should not I be?"
This is too much, I'm closer to him, standing, overlooking.
And I say, with growing anger, which was to slam the door in his face, for what he did was not allow to get close to you, he was an idiot because he had left
that being duped by abominable , that he was more fool the other two only simper.
He holds my tears in front of screaming, and I do not care what the neighbors think. I do not care even her tears.
E 'a fool through and through, that he chose to suffer.
'E' changed. "She says, trying to defend him. But his eyes, oh his eyes are lying. I know I was looking for a moment of peace, a moment of serenity, a little happy space.
He needs to feel loved, even if that 'Love is just an illusion. Pure and mere fiction.
And instead of pity, I get angry even more. Even in the House, despite telling of hating him, I was sure that at the slightest sign of affection on the part of that moron, he would
course would be heard and accepted in his arms. And so it was. I have not missed shots, apparently. push it so that you find yourself lying on the couch, and I climb over, always with his eyes hard and angry
. He's scared, he feels attacked the highest level. A proper treatment of shock.
"What has he done?" I say almost growling, better position themselves on him. He is silent, holding her hands, clutching the pendant.
hands him a hand on her hip, up to his face. Caressed his cheek reddened, with mock tenderness. I would like to slap him, as to awaken.
"I made a gentle caress?" Approach to his lips without touching and speak, in the same tone.
"I gave a kiss to faint?" I match our reservoirs, so that our bodies are as one.
"Did he tell you he loved you and wanted to do it as a gesture to prove it more pure?"
He weeps. Hit and sunk.
"Hit and sunk." I said between sobs and upsets me because his words are equal to my thinking. She looks at me like a helpless puppy and hurt, I did not even realize that I'm not going to go away.
His eyes stare at me and I feel faint, he seems to want to extrapolate from the darkness of my eyes a reason for my anger. Is it possible that I'm sure he has not changed?
it possible that I do not want it to be changed? Strafe
I want is always the same, which Maicol not really in love with him and the other parts. Why? Why
me so annoyed, because my mind can not figurarseli together, happily ever after? There is nothing wrong with unfounded, where Maicol is happy I must be too.
But I will not.
My mind does not want to conceive.
Meanwhile, it would notice that my face has changed. I am suffering, even on top of him as wanting to retain there with me. He can not go, can not leave and go back to overdo it.
Maicol In my head he did not close, strafe is light years away.
He smiles, noting that the anger is gone. Maybe he thinks that I realized that I have blurted out so, it is only a consequence of all that I have always said about him. But
just kidding.
"What Ronchini, we are jealous?" Says sympathetically, patting the floor face. I expect a laugh, not arrives. I remain seriously, and the fixed losses in its iris.
"hit and sunk."
Saturday, March 20, 2010
What Kind Of Doctor For Bursitis Of The Hip
Hello.
parking the car in a driveway isolated, far from prying eyes. I always have the old jalopy that goes to kinetic energy as that of
Flinstones, I regret parting with it too. I go down slowly, looking around.
It 'been a long time, yet they are always the same. Hair and out of phase with the fringe coiffed to perfection by a hairdresser who became
pay with photos and autographs. I do not know, indeed, that the money was wisely tucked in his jacket before leaving his room.
wearing a T-shirt, one of those grant us the Super, with my beautiful handwriting motto printed on the chest. Above it, a black vest with a small brooch pinned to the heart of Piglet.
Tight jeans, boots of my favorite brand, bright pink goggles that will certainly not go unnoticed.
I have not changed as you see.
I lock the car and I put the keys in a shoulder bag, a birthday present for however many years ago. I light a cigarette for the nervousness and
begin to look for the street. The routes are similar and the houses are small and elegant and I get lost looking at the gardens arranged in a workmanlike manner.
We did not see living in a place like this.
Every time someone stops for a moment staring at me and just take the phone, disguise the voice and I start talking on the phone to pretend.
pretending to speak with my wife in a low voice and virile, and now people look back, sure they had been mistaken.
is not difficult to disguise when people look at you are the first to not want you to see what you are. Once out, that fateful Monday
now four months ago, the situation that I was placed in front of me broke down like never before. I had to fight against stalking away
of people who had done everything to send me to another world or at least outside Italy, I had to avoid reporting
at least five members of a social network that wanted my death , I had to at least two months, leaving the house with at least one escort and close his eyes under the
offended people. I am a queer hysterical, however.
I also had my little victories, yeah. My father loves me more than ever, appreciate me and I realized that I have to give me to do to help him. My nephew
has become a plague that adorable wants to sleep every night at my house to talk to him for endless hours of my adventure. The
my friends have become tough and charming girls who do not put your feet in the face by anyone.
Those in the most beautiful of my life looking for me and call me to ask all sorts of things, I meet them at least twice a week and I can not never miss them.
Except for one person.
I look down, while seeking the name of the road between the myriad of papers that I have in my portfolio. As if you did not know it by heart. As if I had
deu past month to look it between his fingers, waiting to find the courage to look. I never found until now.
not until a week ago, yesterday or the day before yesterday. Today I picked up my bag and sunglasses and I came here, after a little trip past
with the mad desire to go back. All the time I thought it was wrong and still think so.
But I can not.
E 'stronger than me.
Behind every smile there was a shadow that I was becoming more great, I can not control it, is tearing my soul.
A girl stops me and asks me if it's me and I answer yes. Fortunately you only give me a hug, telling me that I have always supported and
not think I'm a heavy or talkative.
I smile and raised his thumb in the air, happy. These little things, I light up the day, despite being stretched like a string bass.
I take a picture with her and give her another hug, giving her my pin Piglet.
She smiles, and then gets more serious and give me a web address. The names that appear in the links are two, and a mine. I say quickly that it is a site where guys like you have followed my and his adventure together,
who have discovered many things that have reviewed almost every movement. Not crazy, but to understand this better.
They have fought with me against the evil groups on Facebook, they have supported me head on. Have supported us.
I look a bit 'touched and tell her that I will be sure to greet everyone a jump. Greets me and runs away and turns around only once to shout at me "We piaceeee!"
smile and keep walking, a bit 'of relief. I put in the back pocket of jeans that strange package. I had no time to go
on the Internet and usually did it to read general articles. I never went unfounded on news about us. I find
Home.
hands begin to shake and the check number. Yes, this is it. Cream color, style between classic and modern, a verdant garden with a cat dozing in the lawn. A short catalog
home. I'm about ten minutes to fix the brass bell, under the following three names are written in capital letters below each other.
I can not decide. I'm too scared. He rolled his eyes and then close them and squeezes them while I push the button.
You hear a hollow sound inside the house and wait.
For a moment I turn around and go back a few steps, ready to flee.
No response.
The house is empty and desolate, the windows are wide open and no one is inside.
sigh and hold back the tears, clenching his fists. All the fear, all the tension, all the desire I collapsed on his head like a heavy boulder tons.
I bite my lip and I think to do. I have a letter in your bag. I have a cd and I have a soft toy.
I would leave letters in the hole, but there is plush. For my Piglet with half an ear cut no place. I squeeze the toy to me
and seeking solace in that mass of pink and hand washable. I lean for a moment at the door, staring blankly into space, waiting for something.
A trip went blank, despite the meeting with that girl.
I hear footsteps approaching, and try to hide, hoping that if I had seen there, had no doubts about myself. The overwhelming
Maicol not give up. This would have thought.
Get away it was not possible, I would have seen anyway. I decide then to stay still, hoping not Voltino looking at the house.
The steps nearer, and after a while, I pass by three figures. And not just simply stop, but turn around and come toward the house.
Two boys and a girl both died brown. One of them laughs telling a story about a recently released film, the other two plan to listen and smile.
Then they see me.
reactions are three and all three different. The boy
talker stops talking and cheerful smiles, stretching out his arms.
The girl takes the hand of the door and next to him, glared at him. The third
stares at me without words.
More or less my reaction is the third.
"Maicol Hello!" greets the first, eagerly embraced. We met three times after the Big Brother and once before, but for him we're friends for life.
"Hello John" I say smiling too, giving him a little kiss on the cheek.
"Hello Julia." I say she smiles shyly and unconvinced, and takes the keys from her bag and gets ready to open the front door.
I move to facilitate entry to and she goes, casting one last look her boyfriend.
The core belief is back in the car, he has turned quickly and went to crash into a pole. I do not feel any pulse.
He stares at me without speaking, nursed a pendant depicting a little Goku.
"Hello George."
I do not know exactly how much time has passed since my greeting. I believe at least an eternity, if not two.
I look downwards, I see my shoes, as they are to those chosen by Giulia before our adventure. They are colorful and sparkling as new, thanks to my mother almost
treatment. He is silent, watching me, or maybe through me, looking for a way to avoid me. We
certain visas, after leaving the house. I was one of the first to meet each other, happy as ever. My
winner.
His face contracted into a grimace of relief and happiness, smiling as ever, screaming the name of us all. Do not forget any of the competitors. At first I thought you forgot to nominate
because while it flowed to state our position, I could not hear my name. But in the end, finally, hear his voice crying out loud and my name is mixed with that of Julia.
Italy applauded, in short, we like his victory. We like millemila times. And entered in triumph, while his girlfriend is waiting for him sitting with his legs crossed, his face relaxed and peaceful.
Wait for him to run meeting, overtaking everything, objects and people, and should kneel before him, whispering that he loves above all else. She smiles, like a mother
forgive the mischief to his son and gives him a little kiss on the lips. We applaud, I'm happy and I cry over all the times I shed tears of love for movies.
Only later I realized how strange it was like a scene, rather cold, but alas, we're not all alike.
Then he gets up, assisted by Alessia and moves toward the center of the study. Sees me, smiles and runs towards me. We hug tight and I congratulate him, raised at least forty inches from the ground.
thanked me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Then salutes all, Max and Carmen together and tightens them almost crush them while screaming that he is their winner, the winner of all.
It 'nice to go crazy, no doubt about it.
After that night, a series of evenings with us as players, behind the scenes with Julia, to wait for her to play meridian George.
Find out who has prepared the banner and what has not been sufficiently grateful. I find that when we fight he did not waste any words on me, spit something like hatred.
discover that Carmen and I, we were exactly the same, too jealous and too heavy. But she was the little princess in love, I stupid gay overwhelming.
discover that everyone thought at least ten times that I was always having to be wrong, that if he hugs me it was because I was so peaceful and I stuck to him worse than a mussel.
short, I find pretty things for nothing.
And we were talking about a day away from the cameras. And he was cold, I looked like I was one of the competitors left in the first few weeks, of which
even remember the name. It was the day of his mesiversario with Julia, and I was reducing the time that he should go with her. He does not malice, it is true that I have not been spared.
He says those things in that moment he thought and still think that perhaps that day and the final, was to join the excitement my name to hers.
course I do, even for a moment I thought you and I we were on the same plane.
But if he said this meant that my idea about me had changed. Now for him I was a somebody who wanted it all for himself, who clawed her best friend's face
only to keep her away from the object of desire. And there is the river that flowed out of words and we both opted into us that this would be our last chat.
Pae and Berta Jo closed their curtains, apparently made only by fighting and evil. Forever.
But no.
I need him out here as in the house. We were promised that we would were for each other and I want to believe these words. Sure, it took me a while 'to figure it out.
"You need something?" He asks me, his voice toneless.
How many things I need, I would say. I need to find the courage to look you in the face, but I can not. How did
peace in the house? I hardly remember it, remembering only the screams and then the big white sofa, then the words of affection and, finally, a smile, two smiles and a hug. I do not remember the long talks
offices and almost sessions of psychoanalyst. I wanted to take with me only the good of our adventure, although I then had to collide with everything else.
What could I say? Maybe I could tell him that I needed to talk with him to discuss what we had said, to find a connection point now that the walls were not forced us to be close.
I was in a panic, I thought everything was either too trivial or too sentimental.
"I need you." I let escape from his lips and I immediately took my hands on them, pressing them to want to drive back as strong as in the sentence.
He is staring at me, and then switches to small Piglet in my arms and it grips my heart. For the week of the finals, he had taken with him as a treasure, had stayed with him and if he was pampered
more than I've ever cuddled. How many tears at the thought that at this plush I left my heart. And it is still there, to beat weak and without any force,
abandoned by all good things, now that he is here in front of me.
"Piglet's actually wanted to say goodbye." I said, trying to defuse the tension, a classic for me. How often, when I was already tired of arguing with him, I had a smile and say random bullshit
and I saw it dissolve slowly for pain or suffering, who knows.
I would love to know.
Here. The smile shyly peeping from his lips and approaches me. Search in all modes of glosses with small flaky skin on his fingers and he takes the toy. The
looks gently, observing every detail, stopping at the ear abused and the small necklace that hung around his neck soft. He has a pendant depicting a J. And 'he was to give it away, putting himself on
Piglet. She hugs him for a moment, as he did in the House, when he was down in the dumps. It was not my only salvation in the end.
remain silent, looking with one eye. The eyes are serious despite the friendly smile.
me back in my hands the toy and I bit my lip, looking for something else to say or do.
"Now she is happy." I say low, melancholy voice, smelling that both knew resurface after so many months. Back
I think its strange obsession with Nicola and the arduous and constant comparison with the Marquis. It makes me smile when I think that for a while, I thought it was even jealous of him.
"I like it again." Speak. The voice that so much I wanted to really feel, not through the distortion of television, is calm and serene, even if there is a slight shudder.
I look up to see him better and I realize how much has not changed. Tall, tanned, muscular, indecent hair, deep eyes and inquisitive.
"Me too, you know?" He is silent, and our eyes meet.
The heart, live from the puppet stops beating. The tears start to fall on my face and lips tremble, and not turn my eyes from his.
Not even his own.
and remains so, the silence this time is more of a pounding drum. Tumtum. Anything that my ears hear.
Hey? Hey? Can anyone to land a spaceship so you can run away from here in a flash?
He is still, he always had plenty to say.
The pendant is now before torturing helpless on its side, with black painted eyes turned toward me. I know it is challenging. How will the stupid
Maicol to be forgiven this time? Do you not know that George
in recent months has not tried just because he did not need?
not know that it's just a pathetic illusion?
deluded? Of course, Goku but please, let me be a idiot until the end.
As we began our endless speeches in the house? Maybe with a left mid-sentence, a request for attention. Perhaps with a joke thrown in, seemingly without any sense
. Perhaps with a crooked smile, halfway between a laugh and a tear. Perhaps ...
I approach slowly, and it seems that between us we are miles away, full of obstacles and dangers. These problems are in my head I know, and while those who seem to move my first steps,
He is still in the same place five minutes ago. Perhaps only the face is more agreement, hazel eyes obscured by a veil in which I can not give his name. After
not know how long, are inches away from him. The heart is trying to throw out my soft toy and he himself seems to invoke pity.
I stopped.
him as well.
stretch out my arms to his neck, still clutching Piglet in his right hand and slowly encircling it. They seem to have put a slow motion in real time, I can hear the rustle of my shirt and her in contact with each other. I feel my hands
bind to each other just below the nape of his neck, my chest against hers.
My movements slow as its fast. His arms
walked my back and I shook him, almost to the point of crush. The frightened face as he took refuge in the crook of my neck, resting her cheek on my shoulder.
His whole being is close to me as if looking for the source of life from me, a small glimmer of light. I do not have the stubbornness to think so, but I'm amazed by it all.
I thought of a push to embrace a cold and detached, a pat on the back ... not this one.
And I smile. And I cry.
and smiles. And cries.
Both stifle her sobs, but it is something sickly sweet or nauseating. I would not be in a romantic movie. I do not feel the need to prepare the car and run away with him somewhere.
But I am relieved from the ground a few feet, as if it was flying free after so long. If all these months my heart was forced into a lifeless body, now
here he is back inside me, pulsing strong and alive, joyful and peaceful.
He had the key to my heart, he could get me back to life. Here I am World, is back Berta, Berta is alive.
clasps him tightly and I feel like the day of the final, joined by close to him as the best glue. He whispers something, and I move for a moment to listen.
"I missed you, Frisbee."
smile, while others go down and tears fall down his cheek, joining its more quiet and gentle. There was no need for words, speeches tedianti of ambiguous sentences.
They needed us, that's all.
Back to embrace me, almost stronger than before. It tells me something else, and adopted only a few words, tossed here and there.
I'm sorry, sorry, forgive me. Phrases that do not care, not now.
quickly silenced him, rocking him up. It 's funny how often, even within the House, I was the stronger of the two, when I felt alone inside insecurities and fears.
Yet for him, becomes everything.
For him not want to be just his friend. I want to be the father, brother, best friend, my grandfather ... love.
I want to raise it when she is sad, scolding for mistakes, have fun when they need it, cuddle when they want, when you need to quarrel. I want to be there for him three hundred and sixty degrees, a small world at his disposal.
know it is not possible, and a voice gives me the confirmation.
"Jo, come on in? It's raining."
it raining?
I do not even realize that there are only tears to cover our faces, but there are tiny droplets slowly covering. But I do not feel cold, I do not care, hair
obscene now I guess. Then I see that he walks away and turns toward the house. There
Giulia, with a pink umbrella and white, with two blacks eyes and a pink ribbon printed on the fabric wet. She looks at him as he looked at me when he was immobile, devoid of feelings.
He turns to me, and does so often look so disconsolate that I saw on his face. Must go, I know. He does not need
World Maicol, he has only his friend, for other matters we think others. I smile and greet Piglet, waving his paw pink.
He bends down and gives him a little kiss on the long face and then approach me and give me a kiss on the forehead, with equal tenderness.
Then he turns and heads for the house and turn once to look at me and show me the palm of his right hand and also I raise my hand to greet him, before it enters into the house nice and cozy.
I remain impaled like a moron, now soaked with water. E 'fair to say that I am disappointed, a little bit?
I was expecting a talk, I expected that invited me to join at least not to prevent a flood zone in the brain. Instead of nowhere, a kiss on the forehead and go, set aside and wet
as a filthy rag now.
I ride with my tail between my legs I'm going back to the car, unable even to go straight, taking a zigzag trying to dodge all the water holes.
And I cry again, this time not even know why. I got lost, we're friends, we are happy and we're friends again. Yeah, I said. Check my
Micro Machine and I opened it and we dive in, wet the seat. I stay for a moment to look at the empty, waiting I do not know exactly what.
The rain falls harder and harder, and I now struggle to see beyond the glass. I do not want to go home, I do not want to do anything, this morning the sun is gone and
with him any more thought. I stay in the car like a doll left unused, full of glitter and sequins just guts out as much as inside.
I hear footsteps.
hear the passenger door open.
I do not even care about looking back, maybe it's a Mauri want me to skin.
feel the droplets fall next to me, fall from your hair, knitting, by hand.
from a backpack, a hat.
I decide to turn around and blinked, opening his mouth.
Giorgio, Giorgio Ronchini to be precise, is sitting in front of me, with the famous red cap, a gray sweatshirt that I wore over and over and a backpack filled with weird not know what its legs.
raised an eyebrow as if to ask what the hell are you doing here.
He smiles like a child and then becomes suddenly serious.
"Cursed Frisbee, you could park it a bit 'nearer the car." She looks at me tidiato. "It 's really a lemon as you said."
I think that will greet me as they should, and happy smile. Then I remember the backpack and ask him where to go.
"Where you want."
remain impassive, I do not understand. Maybe I will not understand.
"And Julia?"
He laughs and gives me a kiss on the cheek, then hands me a hand through his hair messed up so bad.
"You often greeted with pleasure, you should do it with as much happiness."
"Foul you. "
He remains stunned for a moment, then clears his throat and smiles again.
" Hello Julia. "
Final
very visionary, but I hope you like it anyway. Maicol Pae and Jo, as usual.
parking the car in a driveway isolated, far from prying eyes. I always have the old jalopy that goes to kinetic energy as that of
Flinstones, I regret parting with it too. I go down slowly, looking around.
It 'been a long time, yet they are always the same. Hair and out of phase with the fringe coiffed to perfection by a hairdresser who became
pay with photos and autographs. I do not know, indeed, that the money was wisely tucked in his jacket before leaving his room.
wearing a T-shirt, one of those grant us the Super, with my beautiful handwriting motto printed on the chest. Above it, a black vest with a small brooch pinned to the heart of Piglet.
Tight jeans, boots of my favorite brand, bright pink goggles that will certainly not go unnoticed.
I have not changed as you see.
I lock the car and I put the keys in a shoulder bag, a birthday present for however many years ago. I light a cigarette for the nervousness and
begin to look for the street. The routes are similar and the houses are small and elegant and I get lost looking at the gardens arranged in a workmanlike manner.
We did not see living in a place like this.
Every time someone stops for a moment staring at me and just take the phone, disguise the voice and I start talking on the phone to pretend.
pretending to speak with my wife in a low voice and virile, and now people look back, sure they had been mistaken.
is not difficult to disguise when people look at you are the first to not want you to see what you are. Once out, that fateful Monday
now four months ago, the situation that I was placed in front of me broke down like never before. I had to fight against stalking away
of people who had done everything to send me to another world or at least outside Italy, I had to avoid reporting
at least five members of a social network that wanted my death , I had to at least two months, leaving the house with at least one escort and close his eyes under the
offended people. I am a queer hysterical, however.
I also had my little victories, yeah. My father loves me more than ever, appreciate me and I realized that I have to give me to do to help him. My nephew
has become a plague that adorable wants to sleep every night at my house to talk to him for endless hours of my adventure. The
my friends have become tough and charming girls who do not put your feet in the face by anyone.
Those in the most beautiful of my life looking for me and call me to ask all sorts of things, I meet them at least twice a week and I can not never miss them.
Except for one person.
I look down, while seeking the name of the road between the myriad of papers that I have in my portfolio. As if you did not know it by heart. As if I had
deu past month to look it between his fingers, waiting to find the courage to look. I never found until now.
not until a week ago, yesterday or the day before yesterday. Today I picked up my bag and sunglasses and I came here, after a little trip past
with the mad desire to go back. All the time I thought it was wrong and still think so.
But I can not.
E 'stronger than me.
Behind every smile there was a shadow that I was becoming more great, I can not control it, is tearing my soul.
A girl stops me and asks me if it's me and I answer yes. Fortunately you only give me a hug, telling me that I have always supported and
not think I'm a heavy or talkative.
I smile and raised his thumb in the air, happy. These little things, I light up the day, despite being stretched like a string bass.
I take a picture with her and give her another hug, giving her my pin Piglet.
She smiles, and then gets more serious and give me a web address. The names that appear in the links are two, and a mine. I say quickly that it is a site where guys like you have followed my and his adventure together,
who have discovered many things that have reviewed almost every movement. Not crazy, but to understand this better.
They have fought with me against the evil groups on Facebook, they have supported me head on. Have supported us.
I look a bit 'touched and tell her that I will be sure to greet everyone a jump. Greets me and runs away and turns around only once to shout at me "We piaceeee!"
smile and keep walking, a bit 'of relief. I put in the back pocket of jeans that strange package. I had no time to go
on the Internet and usually did it to read general articles. I never went unfounded on news about us. I find
Home.
hands begin to shake and the check number. Yes, this is it. Cream color, style between classic and modern, a verdant garden with a cat dozing in the lawn. A short catalog
home. I'm about ten minutes to fix the brass bell, under the following three names are written in capital letters below each other.
I can not decide. I'm too scared. He rolled his eyes and then close them and squeezes them while I push the button.
You hear a hollow sound inside the house and wait.
For a moment I turn around and go back a few steps, ready to flee.
No response.
The house is empty and desolate, the windows are wide open and no one is inside.
sigh and hold back the tears, clenching his fists. All the fear, all the tension, all the desire I collapsed on his head like a heavy boulder tons.
I bite my lip and I think to do. I have a letter in your bag. I have a cd and I have a soft toy.
I would leave letters in the hole, but there is plush. For my Piglet with half an ear cut no place. I squeeze the toy to me
and seeking solace in that mass of pink and hand washable. I lean for a moment at the door, staring blankly into space, waiting for something.
A trip went blank, despite the meeting with that girl.
I hear footsteps approaching, and try to hide, hoping that if I had seen there, had no doubts about myself. The overwhelming
Maicol not give up. This would have thought.
Get away it was not possible, I would have seen anyway. I decide then to stay still, hoping not Voltino looking at the house.
The steps nearer, and after a while, I pass by three figures. And not just simply stop, but turn around and come toward the house.
Two boys and a girl both died brown. One of them laughs telling a story about a recently released film, the other two plan to listen and smile.
Then they see me.
reactions are three and all three different. The boy
talker stops talking and cheerful smiles, stretching out his arms.
The girl takes the hand of the door and next to him, glared at him. The third
stares at me without words.
More or less my reaction is the third.
"Maicol Hello!" greets the first, eagerly embraced. We met three times after the Big Brother and once before, but for him we're friends for life.
"Hello John" I say smiling too, giving him a little kiss on the cheek.
"Hello Julia." I say she smiles shyly and unconvinced, and takes the keys from her bag and gets ready to open the front door.
I move to facilitate entry to and she goes, casting one last look her boyfriend.
The core belief is back in the car, he has turned quickly and went to crash into a pole. I do not feel any pulse.
He stares at me without speaking, nursed a pendant depicting a little Goku.
"Hello George."
I do not know exactly how much time has passed since my greeting. I believe at least an eternity, if not two.
I look downwards, I see my shoes, as they are to those chosen by Giulia before our adventure. They are colorful and sparkling as new, thanks to my mother almost
treatment. He is silent, watching me, or maybe through me, looking for a way to avoid me. We
certain visas, after leaving the house. I was one of the first to meet each other, happy as ever. My
winner.
His face contracted into a grimace of relief and happiness, smiling as ever, screaming the name of us all. Do not forget any of the competitors. At first I thought you forgot to nominate
because while it flowed to state our position, I could not hear my name. But in the end, finally, hear his voice crying out loud and my name is mixed with that of Julia.
Italy applauded, in short, we like his victory. We like millemila times. And entered in triumph, while his girlfriend is waiting for him sitting with his legs crossed, his face relaxed and peaceful.
Wait for him to run meeting, overtaking everything, objects and people, and should kneel before him, whispering that he loves above all else. She smiles, like a mother
forgive the mischief to his son and gives him a little kiss on the lips. We applaud, I'm happy and I cry over all the times I shed tears of love for movies.
Only later I realized how strange it was like a scene, rather cold, but alas, we're not all alike.
Then he gets up, assisted by Alessia and moves toward the center of the study. Sees me, smiles and runs towards me. We hug tight and I congratulate him, raised at least forty inches from the ground.
thanked me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Then salutes all, Max and Carmen together and tightens them almost crush them while screaming that he is their winner, the winner of all.
It 'nice to go crazy, no doubt about it.
After that night, a series of evenings with us as players, behind the scenes with Julia, to wait for her to play meridian George.
Find out who has prepared the banner and what has not been sufficiently grateful. I find that when we fight he did not waste any words on me, spit something like hatred.
discover that Carmen and I, we were exactly the same, too jealous and too heavy. But she was the little princess in love, I stupid gay overwhelming.
discover that everyone thought at least ten times that I was always having to be wrong, that if he hugs me it was because I was so peaceful and I stuck to him worse than a mussel.
short, I find pretty things for nothing.
And we were talking about a day away from the cameras. And he was cold, I looked like I was one of the competitors left in the first few weeks, of which
even remember the name. It was the day of his mesiversario with Julia, and I was reducing the time that he should go with her. He does not malice, it is true that I have not been spared.
He says those things in that moment he thought and still think that perhaps that day and the final, was to join the excitement my name to hers.
course I do, even for a moment I thought you and I we were on the same plane.
But if he said this meant that my idea about me had changed. Now for him I was a somebody who wanted it all for himself, who clawed her best friend's face
only to keep her away from the object of desire. And there is the river that flowed out of words and we both opted into us that this would be our last chat.
Pae and Berta Jo closed their curtains, apparently made only by fighting and evil. Forever.
But no.
I need him out here as in the house. We were promised that we would were for each other and I want to believe these words. Sure, it took me a while 'to figure it out.
"You need something?" He asks me, his voice toneless.
How many things I need, I would say. I need to find the courage to look you in the face, but I can not. How did
peace in the house? I hardly remember it, remembering only the screams and then the big white sofa, then the words of affection and, finally, a smile, two smiles and a hug. I do not remember the long talks
offices and almost sessions of psychoanalyst. I wanted to take with me only the good of our adventure, although I then had to collide with everything else.
What could I say? Maybe I could tell him that I needed to talk with him to discuss what we had said, to find a connection point now that the walls were not forced us to be close.
I was in a panic, I thought everything was either too trivial or too sentimental.
"I need you." I let escape from his lips and I immediately took my hands on them, pressing them to want to drive back as strong as in the sentence.
He is staring at me, and then switches to small Piglet in my arms and it grips my heart. For the week of the finals, he had taken with him as a treasure, had stayed with him and if he was pampered
more than I've ever cuddled. How many tears at the thought that at this plush I left my heart. And it is still there, to beat weak and without any force,
abandoned by all good things, now that he is here in front of me.
"Piglet's actually wanted to say goodbye." I said, trying to defuse the tension, a classic for me. How often, when I was already tired of arguing with him, I had a smile and say random bullshit
and I saw it dissolve slowly for pain or suffering, who knows.
I would love to know.
Here. The smile shyly peeping from his lips and approaches me. Search in all modes of glosses with small flaky skin on his fingers and he takes the toy. The
looks gently, observing every detail, stopping at the ear abused and the small necklace that hung around his neck soft. He has a pendant depicting a J. And 'he was to give it away, putting himself on
Piglet. She hugs him for a moment, as he did in the House, when he was down in the dumps. It was not my only salvation in the end.
remain silent, looking with one eye. The eyes are serious despite the friendly smile.
me back in my hands the toy and I bit my lip, looking for something else to say or do.
"Now she is happy." I say low, melancholy voice, smelling that both knew resurface after so many months. Back
I think its strange obsession with Nicola and the arduous and constant comparison with the Marquis. It makes me smile when I think that for a while, I thought it was even jealous of him.
"I like it again." Speak. The voice that so much I wanted to really feel, not through the distortion of television, is calm and serene, even if there is a slight shudder.
I look up to see him better and I realize how much has not changed. Tall, tanned, muscular, indecent hair, deep eyes and inquisitive.
"Me too, you know?" He is silent, and our eyes meet.
The heart, live from the puppet stops beating. The tears start to fall on my face and lips tremble, and not turn my eyes from his.
Not even his own.
and remains so, the silence this time is more of a pounding drum. Tumtum. Anything that my ears hear.
Hey? Hey? Can anyone to land a spaceship so you can run away from here in a flash?
He is still, he always had plenty to say.
The pendant is now before torturing helpless on its side, with black painted eyes turned toward me. I know it is challenging. How will the stupid
Maicol to be forgiven this time? Do you not know that George
in recent months has not tried just because he did not need?
not know that it's just a pathetic illusion?
deluded? Of course, Goku but please, let me be a idiot until the end.
As we began our endless speeches in the house? Maybe with a left mid-sentence, a request for attention. Perhaps with a joke thrown in, seemingly without any sense
. Perhaps with a crooked smile, halfway between a laugh and a tear. Perhaps ...
I approach slowly, and it seems that between us we are miles away, full of obstacles and dangers. These problems are in my head I know, and while those who seem to move my first steps,
He is still in the same place five minutes ago. Perhaps only the face is more agreement, hazel eyes obscured by a veil in which I can not give his name. After
not know how long, are inches away from him. The heart is trying to throw out my soft toy and he himself seems to invoke pity.
I stopped.
him as well.
stretch out my arms to his neck, still clutching Piglet in his right hand and slowly encircling it. They seem to have put a slow motion in real time, I can hear the rustle of my shirt and her in contact with each other. I feel my hands
bind to each other just below the nape of his neck, my chest against hers.
My movements slow as its fast. His arms
walked my back and I shook him, almost to the point of crush. The frightened face as he took refuge in the crook of my neck, resting her cheek on my shoulder.
His whole being is close to me as if looking for the source of life from me, a small glimmer of light. I do not have the stubbornness to think so, but I'm amazed by it all.
I thought of a push to embrace a cold and detached, a pat on the back ... not this one.
And I smile. And I cry.
and smiles. And cries.
Both stifle her sobs, but it is something sickly sweet or nauseating. I would not be in a romantic movie. I do not feel the need to prepare the car and run away with him somewhere.
But I am relieved from the ground a few feet, as if it was flying free after so long. If all these months my heart was forced into a lifeless body, now
here he is back inside me, pulsing strong and alive, joyful and peaceful.
He had the key to my heart, he could get me back to life. Here I am World, is back Berta, Berta is alive.
clasps him tightly and I feel like the day of the final, joined by close to him as the best glue. He whispers something, and I move for a moment to listen.
"I missed you, Frisbee."
smile, while others go down and tears fall down his cheek, joining its more quiet and gentle. There was no need for words, speeches tedianti of ambiguous sentences.
They needed us, that's all.
Back to embrace me, almost stronger than before. It tells me something else, and adopted only a few words, tossed here and there.
I'm sorry, sorry, forgive me. Phrases that do not care, not now.
quickly silenced him, rocking him up. It 's funny how often, even within the House, I was the stronger of the two, when I felt alone inside insecurities and fears.
Yet for him, becomes everything.
For him not want to be just his friend. I want to be the father, brother, best friend, my grandfather ... love.
I want to raise it when she is sad, scolding for mistakes, have fun when they need it, cuddle when they want, when you need to quarrel. I want to be there for him three hundred and sixty degrees, a small world at his disposal.
know it is not possible, and a voice gives me the confirmation.
"Jo, come on in? It's raining."
it raining?
I do not even realize that there are only tears to cover our faces, but there are tiny droplets slowly covering. But I do not feel cold, I do not care, hair
obscene now I guess. Then I see that he walks away and turns toward the house. There
Giulia, with a pink umbrella and white, with two blacks eyes and a pink ribbon printed on the fabric wet. She looks at him as he looked at me when he was immobile, devoid of feelings.
He turns to me, and does so often look so disconsolate that I saw on his face. Must go, I know. He does not need
World Maicol, he has only his friend, for other matters we think others. I smile and greet Piglet, waving his paw pink.
He bends down and gives him a little kiss on the long face and then approach me and give me a kiss on the forehead, with equal tenderness.
Then he turns and heads for the house and turn once to look at me and show me the palm of his right hand and also I raise my hand to greet him, before it enters into the house nice and cozy.
I remain impaled like a moron, now soaked with water. E 'fair to say that I am disappointed, a little bit?
I was expecting a talk, I expected that invited me to join at least not to prevent a flood zone in the brain. Instead of nowhere, a kiss on the forehead and go, set aside and wet
as a filthy rag now.
I ride with my tail between my legs I'm going back to the car, unable even to go straight, taking a zigzag trying to dodge all the water holes.
And I cry again, this time not even know why. I got lost, we're friends, we are happy and we're friends again. Yeah, I said. Check my
Micro Machine and I opened it and we dive in, wet the seat. I stay for a moment to look at the empty, waiting I do not know exactly what.
The rain falls harder and harder, and I now struggle to see beyond the glass. I do not want to go home, I do not want to do anything, this morning the sun is gone and
with him any more thought. I stay in the car like a doll left unused, full of glitter and sequins just guts out as much as inside.
I hear footsteps.
hear the passenger door open.
I do not even care about looking back, maybe it's a Mauri want me to skin.
feel the droplets fall next to me, fall from your hair, knitting, by hand.
from a backpack, a hat.
I decide to turn around and blinked, opening his mouth.
Giorgio, Giorgio Ronchini to be precise, is sitting in front of me, with the famous red cap, a gray sweatshirt that I wore over and over and a backpack filled with weird not know what its legs.
raised an eyebrow as if to ask what the hell are you doing here.
He smiles like a child and then becomes suddenly serious.
"Cursed Frisbee, you could park it a bit 'nearer the car." She looks at me tidiato. "It 's really a lemon as you said."
I think that will greet me as they should, and happy smile. Then I remember the backpack and ask him where to go.
"Where you want."
remain impassive, I do not understand. Maybe I will not understand.
"And Julia?"
He laughs and gives me a kiss on the cheek, then hands me a hand through his hair messed up so bad.
"You often greeted with pleasure, you should do it with as much happiness."
"Foul you. "
He remains stunned for a moment, then clears his throat and smiles again.
" Hello Julia. "
Final
very visionary, but I hope you like it anyway. Maicol Pae and Jo, as usual.
Best Japanese Concealer
Wait. Yet for a moment
"Among Maicol Alberto ... and the competitor must leave the house ..." Silence
.
voltage.
Terror.
... Maicol. "
Void.
I remained motionless, sitting on the sofa milk-white salon.
Cristina He felt desperate to burst into tears and lay on my shoulders, shaken by heavy sobs. urletto Mara gave a little relief mixed with sadness and
. Mauro whispered that he did not believe that Maicol did not deserve it. He felt the need to remove Cristina, to silence and give a punch at Mara Mara.
Nobody deserved to go was obvious. And I wanted the victory of Cristina and Carmen ... I should be fine.
yet empty, inside me there was nothing. Leaving Max
there had been a perennial plant and turbulent, that Carmen had suffered, but especially as a player. See that little flea
always with a smile on his face would have been proud to win for me. But now?
What was wrong? Why
heard noises outside of me but I did not feel anything inside of me? Was I so cold as to think that I deleted him much closer to victory than I thought?
not.
I did not feel my heart beating.
Alberto returned to the house and ran to embrace Mara, kissing her forehead and cheeks, lips, beaming with joy. Then other hugs, even tried to
avvicinarmisi. I could not be angry with him, had played as we infuse all playing.
I looked and saw that my hands were shaking non-stop, while the rest of the body was still.
He heard the voice of someone talk to me and call my name. I could not distinguish the voice, heard only the pitch of the voice, what
worried enough to be credible.
"George, you hear me?"
Cristina gave me a little pat on the shoulder, telling me Alessia who was talking to me.
"George will be like this week without Maicol, after all this time together?"
looked at the camera, standing still. I was not looking for applause from the audience, I was looking at the presenter's eyes.
I did not talk at all, I just facing you in the eye. That they understand themselves, and explain it to me please.
What was wrong? Maicol was about to leave, maybe you had already left without saying goodbye e. .. maybe it was not true, who was leaving.
My head started to get going but closed all connections, and I was in a dark corner, alone.
I felt the gaze of others on me, and the voice of Alessia continue to say what Maicol was relevant to this house, what was relevant to me.
And I did not cry, do not spend sweet words to him, wondering where he was. What
be insensitive they are, to a person who gave me his soul just to make me feel good.
I heard the door open and a voice that I recognized immediately whispered a "hello" falsely cheerful.
Cristina ran up and squeezed and he returned the hug, whispering words of kindness. Mauro then approached him and bowed Maicol
as if he were in front of a king. He had won him. Then he hugged him to say goodbye. Mauro even managed to restrain a sob
in front of him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, while the public ranted, for those who Mauro for them. Mara looked at him and shook him gently and strong, jumping on the couch.
Mara wept on his shoulder reminding him of what he wants and how well the sorry.
then passed to Alberto's surrounded the neck and tied it with a coal floor, without saying anything. Albert looked at him and he was silent and then saying
"See you outside Baiocco, and remember that you will give when I am woman." The audience laughed and sincerely
Mara clung to both, kissing her cheeks.
And I? Property.
He heard someone in front of me and I looked up.
Maicol was far more destructive than I thought. Lips were many minor cuts, his eyes were swollen even trying to hide the sadness, the body was trembling with fear.
His life-long dream was over.
had to go out and it was the thing that frightened him, he would be linked to the foundation but to leave.
He looked at me gently, do not expect me to weep or mourn, perhaps.
For a moment I wanted to scream that was mad at me because I seemed devoid of any emotion.
Then he realized that there would be no more quarrels.
There would be no more screaming.
There would be no more than the sclera.
There would be no more than the timid appeasement. Neither
complicit smiles, no hugs, neither death struggle, nor laughter, nor words that came from the heart.
Two tears came out without being able to stop and they were followed by other, unstoppable.
Maicol hugged me shaking gently to himself.
"You want me to say something to Julia just before in the studio?" I asked as I kissed her forehead, as if he's strong, he that confident.
He could not answer, I did not know what to say. What I wanted to respond.
"Maicol have to go out." Alessia whispered.
I gave a last look tender and then adjusted his shirt looking at the camera.
"I go, I go."
and wept as he walked through the rooms feel the pillars, walls, windows, table, all that he could tap.
"Farewell super."
The tears now flowed fast on his face and the audience cheered like a madman, praised.
I looked at him in front of the red door, kissed each of us.
opened the door, while everyone else told him how important it was for them, than they would be afraid to go out, waiting with open arms.
He shut the door behind him before walking down the hall, there he left the task to close it.
And me?
What was I doing?
Nothing, that's all.
was going away and I did not say anything, I had not embraced, I had not cuddled for the last time.
forcefully opened the red door and I catapultai in the hallway and grabbed a white hand Maicol and turned to me. Alessia heard shouting to return home, Albert and try to stop motionless not far from us.
Maicol looked at me with red eyes, surprised like never before.
I did not know what to say, really. I wanted to tell you a lot of things I did not know where to start.
I wanted to tell him not to be afraid that if someone wanted to hurt, I'd think.
I wanted to tell him to be proud of himself, the wonderful person he was, his beautiful soul and sincere as the purest of diamonds.
I wanted to tell him to expect that what we were it would have been outside.
I wanted to tell him that I really wanted to come out everyone, from first to last as long as he remained.
I wanted to tell him that I would not like anyone, I'd counted the days that separated me from him, rather than the final.
I wanted to tell him he must not say anything to Julia, not at that time.
I wanted to say thanks for what I had become, what I had felt in those months.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him too well, like a fool to cry and scream his name. That my heart was cracked and had severed all contacts with the rest
and I was there as an automaton, a puppet of private everything.
I had no time to say all these things.
what could have been explaining all I had to tell him? What, dammit?
Maicol stood, stroking her cheek floor, weeping sadly.
I took her wrists and approached me, I closed my eyes hold you tight, and I laid my lips on her plan. Not on the cheek, not on the forehead, chin. On
labbraForse so would understand.
The sobbing grew stronger and pressed me hard, she jumps in her arms.
I hoped he did not think that making fun of themselves. That kiss was the seal on what I wanted to say if we had days to talk about it.
There was no malice, I was not saying nothing more than I had shown him, albeit secretly.
"Wait."
New History, I hope you like it, as always.
Maicol Pae and Jo ♥
"Among Maicol Alberto ... and the competitor must leave the house ..." Silence
.
voltage.
Terror.
... Maicol. "
Void.
I remained motionless, sitting on the sofa milk-white salon.
Cristina He felt desperate to burst into tears and lay on my shoulders, shaken by heavy sobs. urletto Mara gave a little relief mixed with sadness and
. Mauro whispered that he did not believe that Maicol did not deserve it. He felt the need to remove Cristina, to silence and give a punch at Mara Mara.
Nobody deserved to go was obvious. And I wanted the victory of Cristina and Carmen ... I should be fine.
yet empty, inside me there was nothing. Leaving Max
there had been a perennial plant and turbulent, that Carmen had suffered, but especially as a player. See that little flea
always with a smile on his face would have been proud to win for me. But now?
What was wrong? Why
heard noises outside of me but I did not feel anything inside of me? Was I so cold as to think that I deleted him much closer to victory than I thought?
not.
I did not feel my heart beating.
Alberto returned to the house and ran to embrace Mara, kissing her forehead and cheeks, lips, beaming with joy. Then other hugs, even tried to
avvicinarmisi. I could not be angry with him, had played as we infuse all playing.
I looked and saw that my hands were shaking non-stop, while the rest of the body was still.
He heard the voice of someone talk to me and call my name. I could not distinguish the voice, heard only the pitch of the voice, what
worried enough to be credible.
"George, you hear me?"
Cristina gave me a little pat on the shoulder, telling me Alessia who was talking to me.
"George will be like this week without Maicol, after all this time together?"
looked at the camera, standing still. I was not looking for applause from the audience, I was looking at the presenter's eyes.
I did not talk at all, I just facing you in the eye. That they understand themselves, and explain it to me please.
What was wrong? Maicol was about to leave, maybe you had already left without saying goodbye e. .. maybe it was not true, who was leaving.
My head started to get going but closed all connections, and I was in a dark corner, alone.
I felt the gaze of others on me, and the voice of Alessia continue to say what Maicol was relevant to this house, what was relevant to me.
And I did not cry, do not spend sweet words to him, wondering where he was. What
be insensitive they are, to a person who gave me his soul just to make me feel good.
I heard the door open and a voice that I recognized immediately whispered a "hello" falsely cheerful.
Cristina ran up and squeezed and he returned the hug, whispering words of kindness. Mauro then approached him and bowed Maicol
as if he were in front of a king. He had won him. Then he hugged him to say goodbye. Mauro even managed to restrain a sob
in front of him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, while the public ranted, for those who Mauro for them. Mara looked at him and shook him gently and strong, jumping on the couch.
Mara wept on his shoulder reminding him of what he wants and how well the sorry.
then passed to Alberto's surrounded the neck and tied it with a coal floor, without saying anything. Albert looked at him and he was silent and then saying
"See you outside Baiocco, and remember that you will give when I am woman." The audience laughed and sincerely
Mara clung to both, kissing her cheeks.
And I? Property.
He heard someone in front of me and I looked up.
Maicol was far more destructive than I thought. Lips were many minor cuts, his eyes were swollen even trying to hide the sadness, the body was trembling with fear.
His life-long dream was over.
had to go out and it was the thing that frightened him, he would be linked to the foundation but to leave.
He looked at me gently, do not expect me to weep or mourn, perhaps.
For a moment I wanted to scream that was mad at me because I seemed devoid of any emotion.
Then he realized that there would be no more quarrels.
There would be no more screaming.
There would be no more than the sclera.
There would be no more than the timid appeasement. Neither
complicit smiles, no hugs, neither death struggle, nor laughter, nor words that came from the heart.
Two tears came out without being able to stop and they were followed by other, unstoppable.
Maicol hugged me shaking gently to himself.
"You want me to say something to Julia just before in the studio?" I asked as I kissed her forehead, as if he's strong, he that confident.
He could not answer, I did not know what to say. What I wanted to respond.
"Maicol have to go out." Alessia whispered.
I gave a last look tender and then adjusted his shirt looking at the camera.
"I go, I go."
and wept as he walked through the rooms feel the pillars, walls, windows, table, all that he could tap.
"Farewell super."
The tears now flowed fast on his face and the audience cheered like a madman, praised.
I looked at him in front of the red door, kissed each of us.
opened the door, while everyone else told him how important it was for them, than they would be afraid to go out, waiting with open arms.
He shut the door behind him before walking down the hall, there he left the task to close it.
And me?
What was I doing?
Nothing, that's all.
was going away and I did not say anything, I had not embraced, I had not cuddled for the last time.
forcefully opened the red door and I catapultai in the hallway and grabbed a white hand Maicol and turned to me. Alessia heard shouting to return home, Albert and try to stop motionless not far from us.
Maicol looked at me with red eyes, surprised like never before.
I did not know what to say, really. I wanted to tell you a lot of things I did not know where to start.
I wanted to tell him not to be afraid that if someone wanted to hurt, I'd think.
I wanted to tell him to be proud of himself, the wonderful person he was, his beautiful soul and sincere as the purest of diamonds.
I wanted to tell him to expect that what we were it would have been outside.
I wanted to tell him that I really wanted to come out everyone, from first to last as long as he remained.
I wanted to tell him that I would not like anyone, I'd counted the days that separated me from him, rather than the final.
I wanted to tell him he must not say anything to Julia, not at that time.
I wanted to say thanks for what I had become, what I had felt in those months.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him too well, like a fool to cry and scream his name. That my heart was cracked and had severed all contacts with the rest
and I was there as an automaton, a puppet of private everything.
I had no time to say all these things.
what could have been explaining all I had to tell him? What, dammit?
Maicol stood, stroking her cheek floor, weeping sadly.
I took her wrists and approached me, I closed my eyes hold you tight, and I laid my lips on her plan. Not on the cheek, not on the forehead, chin. On
labbraForse so would understand.
The sobbing grew stronger and pressed me hard, she jumps in her arms.
I hoped he did not think that making fun of themselves. That kiss was the seal on what I wanted to say if we had days to talk about it.
There was no malice, I was not saying nothing more than I had shown him, albeit secretly.
"Wait."
New History, I hope you like it, as always.
Maicol Pae and Jo ♥
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monica Roccafortewikipedia
YET FOR A MOMENT.
Yet for a moment I was closing my eyes, serene.
Yet for a moment your presence on the bed beside me, reassured me. With your little plush
tight in her arms, her lower lip constantly tormented every time you sleep and cobalt blue eyes fixed on me,
you made me feel at home.
And that house of lies, words unspoken, unspeakable secrets, but a home to feel alive, free and happy.
hear people talk about, Alberto and Mara share a kiss that tastes of sweet promise to be retained, Carmen and Cristina
decide whether to sleep with the Spotted or striped pajamas, Mauro muttering to himself with his eyes swollen with tears. The feeling for sure, but not listening.
's funny how your looks strangely deep breathing and the beating of your heart my twin, now that my gaze rests on
you. It 's strange, since you say you do not love me.
The day of the tie is over as we all expected, the day with the attached fun little fight was served to the public. We are still bound by that cord
such contempt, just because you think it's the only thing that binds me to you.
And me? A smile while watching impassively plan, and bitter regret for what you yourself have said. I know that I do not think a fake, I know that
want to provoke me, I know you know I love you.
And not a good thing that is written on a greetings card or screaming in front of a camera because the show is the show, but it is good that makes me feel bad.
It makes me realize that I did not understand anything and you're me, you understand much more. Yet this good has no name, no identity.
vague in my heart like a little gypsy and lurks in every corner sing melancholy notes that I yearn. I would like to help, but I can not.
It goes with everything I've built, all that everyone thinks I am.
The good that I feel for you I would like to shout about but then I realize that it's okay. It 'something that I would suggest to you that I tattooed on my eye and
show it every time I open my eyes and watch you.
do not like to psychoanalyze, I wish my brain I was served with the next instructions. Search now how to retrieve what I was,
what has allowed you to save against David, what has allowed you to leave the embrace of Nicola to run towards.
And you seem more of a jealous woman, stove, heavy and verbose. I could simply send off, with the excuse of Giulia.
Then I remember that you are a man like me and not just an excuse like that. Because like it or not I need you.
do not know how I would not be so dependent on you. If
quarrel with someone, my day goes, or at least quiet enough and before long, even without an explanation, I pass.
With you it's impossible for me to handle everything, analyze your words to find flaws, failures, ill-concealed words. And I do not know why
crucible on your speeches, I abandon myself in words I do not think that with others, carry what you say because I need certainty.
And when I say that you love me do not even understand what they mean. They say with that smile from knowingly, of those who think
everything except love. What does it say that you love me for them?
What will you marry me? What do you want a house with swimming pool annexed built specially for us? What do you take me to bed?
I can only understand from your words that you desperately need me, I want to close that is near and you want that
want my joy is your joy. But you seem not to want to understand this. If you
instigated by telling you that you love me is because I want to understand how to love me.
I love Julia, but not the heart to suggestions. It 's the head that says this is right, she's good, it is a woman and that I will never
problems in life. The love I can simply going with her hand in hand, waiting for our son is born and that looks like both.
Who would not like me? You, of course.
reached for my face, while Piglet rolls up on the bed and rests on the chain. Slowly caress my face and again I would pay to know what you think.
Want to kiss you? That ignores you? Or hold you?
I choose the third floor and I get close to you. For a moment the face is an inch from yours but you remain motionless, with bated breath.
plan and you do not move, you used my arms and here nestles against my chest. Alberto
chuckling away: "What kind of friends," he says mischievously the last word, while Mara's underwear to keep quiet.
close my eyes, hold strong. And your heart beats faster than mine, it beats in unison with mine, as the dancers in perfect sync.
not mind that he thinks it was right to embrace and that the public will have something to say.
is our hearts that they need each other.
Here's what you want, nothing trivial, nothing taken for granted, nothing that you can declare catalog or wrap in a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day.
If your love for me and to stand next to caring about what people think, to suffer and rejoice with me, scream and make me angry just to make me understand what
are important to you, to be jealous because I give my attention to someone else, then ...
Probably I'm in love with you. Yet for a moment I heard whispered in his ear.
"Maicol, Giorgio kick off the chain, thanks."
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