hit and sunk.
The silence in the room is disarming. Julia came out to do some shopping in
view of my evening. Remarkable as though they are past three months, I continue to be housed in
discos and clubs. What's even more surprising is that
I do not mind, I like to spend time among people who
I applaud and appreciate me for who I am.
Yet there are times, especially when I get behind the scenes and
Giulia is where the latest signing autographs, I feel empty. The applause
vanish at the same speed with which they were born, my gaze turns away and relive the evening
as if I were a robot. I still ask my adventure, I always say the same things,
using hackneyed phrases, which all have come to expect, but still want to hear.
As if they could put to shame if I forget a few words banal and obvious. My
alleged affair with Carmen, my disillusionment with Maureen, his friendship with Alberto ...
All the things you know, heard, or heard from for myself.
But then the words come out as it should be: Carmen is just a friend, a sweet and affectionate
who may have misinterpreted my attitudes. Mauro I was disappointed for his sentence apparently
tender and touching, which concealed a desire to kill me as soon as possible. Alberto is a special friend, not to be missed.
I could sign up, send a puppet in my image and likeness, and let the audio talk and everyone would applaud anyway.
I feel as though I had already exchanged with the puppet, devoid of everything.
Where are finished. I get up and puffy, with a slow, automatic and I head to the entrance.
Someone rang. It is probably John, ennessima who has forgotten to turn the car keys.
It will never change that blessed boy, and I get a smile on his face, thinking that he, among all those I know,
has never changed. Always clear, sincere, genuine and acute.
The person that I want to be, in a nutshell.
I approached the door, mahogany, with opaque glass that keeps me from seeing the face of my companion's house.
And he believes that it is, I open safe saying
"If you stick to your fingers maybe not going back all the time."
"What should I stick to your fingers?"
says a voice that is not of John.
I look down a few inches and I am ice in front of a pair of eyes staring at me amused.
No, not John.
Maicol Berti is in front of me, smiling, with her hair tied and curved slightly forward. A polo green, tight jeans, belt a lighter shade of the shirt
brand new boots. E 'changed but what has not changed is his eyes.
Those eyes that seem frozen soul, here. And to do it on purpose, it is characteristic of him.
Among the thousands of reconciliation, I was always the first to capitulate. And I had only to look into his eyes and immediately raised my white flag. Help, I lost again, I told myself.
But today, his gaze has something new, but I can not record.
"Mr. Ronchini, plans to leave me out here much longer?" He tells me to do with pissed off, beating up one foot on the mat at the entrance. I open the door a bit 'more and immediately enters the house
placing the bag on a chair at the entrance, right next to the phone. Walk confident and looks around.
has a smile that just revolves around the head and it seems to be to bring to dance.
I also smile, but do not know why, I have a bad feeling. As if I expected one of his laughter that have bothered me so much during the days in prison.
"Everything okay?" I ask, locking the door behind him and moving toward him. He has a necklace F with a wooden, the kind you can buy on the stalls by the sea. He
note where it is laid eyes on me and immediately puts her hands over us, assuming an expression of affectionate and gentle.
E 'have not seen him so much. There we see in the TV room, exchange a few jokes, the same answer both questions, a script written to perfection.
But seeing him so innocent, so carefree, it makes me stop the heart.
know it is not because they are in front of him, not because he is happy to see me. He is now a star, a constant presence, you are arguing, he grew up. And I'm still
to months and months ago, still dazed by Signorini and Alessandro.
"I Giuly and Jupiter in the house? "I asked, naming them forward. He almost talked more with them than with me these days. Julia asks of him and behind the scenes are big laughs
mock John, totally unrelated to television interviews and .
"No, I'm leaving." I say, raising an eyebrow, frowning slightly.
E 'come for them, not for me. But I quickly denied taking my hand and leads me into the living room just to the left of the entrance.
I am sit on the white sofa and smiles. Then he takes off his boots and sits beside me, crossing his legs.
There's something strange about him, has a different light around him. It reminds me of a cliche, not now
remember ... "I must tell you something ... "He says nervously, torturing the red and fleshy lips, which have always fascinated me. They look like painted, not real.
And do not say this for some reason, but objectively they are special, I bet that women would pay for surgeons a mouth like his.
I nodded, inviting him to continue. He inhales deeply, smiling slightly, looking excited.
not really know what to expect.
almost trembling more than him, I do not feel relaxed, in fact. I want to say that I do not care, rather than knowing. But it seems so happy that I remain silent and wait.
"Fred has come home."
rolled his eyes and looked at him without saying a word. My face does not betray any emotion.
For anyone who might be a phrase as another, but I know what you mean.
is what was commonplace.
A woman, after the first time, it shines a new light. As a girl she grew up, became a woman. That's why it's so beautiful, her smile is radiant.
And I also understand what the F, so precious to him.
I do not know what to say but one thing is certain, I feel anger. Absolute and pure rage.
"Well, then?"
I asked, embarrassed but still joyful. I would rip that smile and run away from my house.
I jumped up and nervously go to the window, looking out. I pray that Julie return to God and that Maicol you take away what I just said.
"Jo?" I demand a bit 'scared. Can see my reflection, angry and bewildered. He does not understand, do not get it.
I turned to him quickly, and the lightning, and just really think that incinerates any moment.
"Why are you happy?" He says, as my expression does not change. It 'an expression that he knows, has seen hundreds of times, every time we argued.
But this time he does not want to fight. She wants me to congratulate me and ask him how it went. If you have prepared the roses on the bed or if it was pretty sweet.
not ask him anything, I died at this moment.
He shrugs his shoulders, biting the lower lip. The term radiant is gone and I'm pleased.
"Why should not I be?"
This is too much, I'm closer to him, standing, overlooking.
And I say, with growing anger, which was to slam the door in his face, for what he did was not allow to get close to you, he was an idiot because he had left
that being duped by abominable , that he was more fool the other two only simper.
He holds my tears in front of screaming, and I do not care what the neighbors think. I do not care even her tears.
E 'a fool through and through, that he chose to suffer.
'E' changed. "She says, trying to defend him. But his eyes, oh his eyes are lying. I know I was looking for a moment of peace, a moment of serenity, a little happy space.
He needs to feel loved, even if that 'Love is just an illusion. Pure and mere fiction.
And instead of pity, I get angry even more. Even in the House, despite telling of hating him, I was sure that at the slightest sign of affection on the part of that moron, he would
course would be heard and accepted in his arms. And so it was. I have not missed shots, apparently. push it so that you find yourself lying on the couch, and I climb over, always with his eyes hard and angry
. He's scared, he feels attacked the highest level. A proper treatment of shock.
"What has he done?" I say almost growling, better position themselves on him. He is silent, holding her hands, clutching the pendant.
hands him a hand on her hip, up to his face. Caressed his cheek reddened, with mock tenderness. I would like to slap him, as to awaken.
"I made a gentle caress?" Approach to his lips without touching and speak, in the same tone.
"I gave a kiss to faint?" I match our reservoirs, so that our bodies are as one.
"Did he tell you he loved you and wanted to do it as a gesture to prove it more pure?"
He weeps. Hit and sunk.
"Hit and sunk." I said between sobs and upsets me because his words are equal to my thinking. She looks at me like a helpless puppy and hurt, I did not even realize that I'm not going to go away.
His eyes stare at me and I feel faint, he seems to want to extrapolate from the darkness of my eyes a reason for my anger. Is it possible that I'm sure he has not changed?
it possible that I do not want it to be changed? Strafe
I want is always the same, which Maicol not really in love with him and the other parts. Why? Why
me so annoyed, because my mind can not figurarseli together, happily ever after? There is nothing wrong with unfounded, where Maicol is happy I must be too.
But I will not.
My mind does not want to conceive.
Meanwhile, it would notice that my face has changed. I am suffering, even on top of him as wanting to retain there with me. He can not go, can not leave and go back to overdo it.
Maicol In my head he did not close, strafe is light years away.
He smiles, noting that the anger is gone. Maybe he thinks that I realized that I have blurted out so, it is only a consequence of all that I have always said about him. But
just kidding.
"What Ronchini, we are jealous?" Says sympathetically, patting the floor face. I expect a laugh, not arrives. I remain seriously, and the fixed losses in its iris.
"hit and sunk."
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